Becoming a parent has been one long lesson in perspective. Some lessons are big and humbling. Others are quiet and unexpected. And many of them come from simply watching how kids move through the world, with curiosity, caution, and courage all at once.

Last night we went to an indoor fun park to celebrate our little cousin’s third birthday. Vivian didn’t know where we were going. We picked her up from school and told her we had a surprise. When we pulled into the parking lot, her face lit up instantly. Excitement took over and suddenly everything looked like the best option.

Once inside, she paused. With all the noise, color, and movement, she needed a moment to decide where to start. After careful observation, she made a choice: the slides. Not just any slide…the yellow one. She inspected the others, weighed her options, and confidently declared the yellow slide the “safest.” So that’s where she stayed.

Then my sister, her “Tita”, asked if she wanted to try the orange slide together. Vivian agreed. She sat on Tita’s lap, and down they went. The tears came fast. She was big mad. She ran straight to her daddy, then to me, needing comfort, and also needing to report Tita for putting her on that orange slide. She was scared. She felt betrayed. And for the rest of the night, she played freely… just not anywhere near that orange slide.

We thought that was the end of it.

But as we were getting ready to leave, Vivian did something unexpected. She ran back toward the slides. This time, she walked straight to the orange one. There was determination in her eyes and a smile on her face. We all instinctively reached for our phones, half-expecting her to change her mind at the last second. She climbed up, sat down, and before we could say a word, she slid.

The fear showed up again. You could see it on her face halfway down. But she didn’t stop. When she landed, we cheered. She jumped up, so proud of herself. And in that moment, it hit me.

How many times have we, as adults, tried something once… been scared… and decided never again? How many times did one uncomfortable experience convince us we weren’t capable? That it wasn’t for us. That it was safer to stick with the “yellow slide.”

Somewhere along the way, we learned to let fear make our decisions. We avoid the conversation, the opportunity, the dream, the risk, because last time it hurt, or embarrassed us, or didn’t go the way we hoped. And instead of going back when we’re ready, we quietly opt out altogether. But Vivian didn’t avoid the orange slide forever. She just needed time. She needed to feel safe again. And most importantly, she needed to choose it for herself. Fear doesn’t mean stop. Fear doesn’t mean you can’t.

Sometimes fear just means not yet.

You’re allowed to come back when you’re ready. You’re allowed to try again with shaky knees and a racing heart. You’re allowed to be scared and brave at the same time. Because courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s sliding anyway. And when you land, proud, standing, still intact…you realize something powerful:

You were capable all along.