Still My Mommy


At an unimaginably young age, I overheard a conversation that changed my perspective of the world. I went from being a carefree kid, focused on baby dolls and sleepovers, to an anxious kid, wondering if I would ever see my mommy again. I went from dreaming of one day being just like my mommy to questioning why it had to be my mommy. My earth shook causing my imagination to run wild. I had tons of questions, but the answers from the adults in my life were few. Why couldn’t she? I mean, how could she? What about me? Did I not matter? My questions seemingly fell on death ears, causing me to construct my own answers and live in a make-believe world of perfection.

For years I lived in a shield of make-believe. I pretended not to cry every night so my grandmother wouldn’t know just how broken I really was. I pretended to be the smartest kid in class so my teachers wouldn’t suspect anything was wrong at home. I pretended to be the cool kid that had it all together so my peers wouldn’t figure out that my mom was possibly one of the people hanging out in the abandoned house across town. I pretended so much that I almost believed myself. I almost believed that I’d made the entire conversation up and that my mommy never had a problem.

Then it happened…

Like a chapter from a book of my past, my mommy had gone missing. Panicking I called everyone I thought she could have been with and every hospital within a 60 mile radius. As each person answered and confirmed that she was not with them my heart sank. Was she hurt? Had she gotten into some trouble? Or even worse, was she dead? I had to know. I had to find her. I was no longer a child living in a world of make-believe, I was an adult on a mission to find the woman that had given me life. She was still my mommy. Through the tears and in between prayers, God spoke to me and lead me right to her. I didn’t like the shape I found her in; but, I found her. I didn’t like seeing her at such a low point; but, I found her. I didn’t like that my make-believe bubble of perfection had been burst; but, I found her. Through the reveal, the recovery, the relapse, and the rebuilding there was one constant…She was Still My Mommy and there was nothing I would have done to change that.

Official Release Date: July 30, 2018



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