So yesterday I did a thing…I passed the Certified Regulatory Compliance Manager (CRCM) exam through the American Bankers Association. 

Now for some transparency…

I sat for this exam in April of 2022. I’d just completed a week’s long Compliance School, was scoring in the 95th percentile on all my practice exams, and felt like I was prepared. However, I failed and even worse, I felt like a failure. I remember sitting at the testing site, staring blankly at the screen; feeling like I’d let everyone down. For the first time in my life, I’d failed a test and as much as I tried to shake it off, it affected my confidence and made me question if I was capable of doing my job. I knew I wanted to continue to climb the corporate ladder and so many people above me had this particular certification. I began to question everything. 

Just as I was starting to get over the disappointment, I received my official test results. I failed by less than 10 points. It was a gut punch. And as crazy as it may sound, I would have rather have failed 70 points, than by 7. So close, yet so far away. The disappointment weighed heavily and I couldn’t bring myself to even think about retesting. I was transparent and shared with my director that while I knew obtaining a certification was important, I needed to step away from prep for a while. Thankfully, she was fully on board and assured me that it wouldn’t hinder my ability to move up. 

With that in mind, I decided to take some time to focus on my family. I got married, had a beautiful baby girl, and threw myself into motherhood. I even got the promotion I wanted. Then it happened, my daughter was trying to climb up on the sofa to retrieve her Elmo stuffy- She would get so close and then get frustrated and give up just before she reached her goal. A few days later, she was again trying to retrieve her Elmo. This time, she adjusted herself perfectly and was able to get on the sofa and hopped back down with her Elmo in hand. It was in that moment that I knew I had to finish what I started. I had to retrieve my Elmo. 

I again set my sights on obtaining my CRCM Certification. This time it wasn’t about the money. It wasn’t about the credibility that came along with having CRCM after my name. It was about showing my daughter that no matter how tough something is, no matter how far out of reach it may seem, we readjust, not quit. I registered for the exam and my husband and I came up with a study plan. I didn’t tell anyone else I was testing. I couldn’t bear having to deliver the “I didn’t pass” news again. Yesterday (2/24) was the big day. I again found myself in a testing center, staring at the computer screen, scared to hit the submit button. Would I feel the same disappointment I felt almost 3 years ago or would I see the result I’d worked so hard for? My daze was interrupted by the loud celebratory screams of a woman in the lobby. She’d just passed an exam and she couldn’t contain her excitement. Thanks to the late nights, early mornings, prayers, and more prayers, I can finally say, I finished what I started. Although I didn’t scream like the lady in the lobby, I sat there, thanking God for getting me through and quietly reflecting on the journey. I got my Elmo!

Oh and did I mention that I’m currently 7 1/2 months pregnant? 0/10 I do not recommend! But with God all things are possible. Even passing a 4 hour, 200 question exam with pregnancy brain lol

Xoxo

Rachelle Danielle