Lately a few of my girls have been getting on me about not telling them everything they think I should. I tried explaining to them that as much as I may want to share, some things aren’t meant to be shared (just yet), even if you are “best friends”. I’ve never been the type to brag or boast about relationships, friends, who I know, etcetera. It’s not that I’m ashamed of them; it’s just that I feel the less people know about certain situations the better. I’m not saying don’t talk to your friends, I’m simply saying some things should remain private. Timing is everything and how you feel today may not be how you feel tomorrow. Prime example…A few years ago one of my best friends called and stated that she felt like her boyfriend was cheating on her. She ran down this long list of things he’d done, things she’d seen, messages she’d read as her proof. (It was some solid proof; there was NO WAY he could have denied anything!) My other homegirl and I were ready for war. She was packing her bags and we were booking our flights…then the next week she was right back with him. Now as her friends, having heard how hurt she was when she felt like he was cheating, having seen the proof she had with our own eyes, it was hard for us to respect him. That was 2 years ago, they’re still together, but we no longer look at him the same. We simply tolerate him because that’s who she chooses to be with. Now she wants to know why we never want to meet up at their house or why we never come over to just chill. Although she’s moved passed him cheating, we still remember! Wrong…I know. Hey at least we don’t bring it up to her, we just don’t go over there and we don’t talk about him with her. That way we won’t hurt her feelings with our opinions and she won’t feel like we’re always bashing “her boo” although she’s the one that gave us the ammunition.
Oh I have another example…One of my girls (I love her like a sister) is just so depressing. Every time she calls I have to brace myself for a depressing story. I’ve known her since 2003 and I don’t think she’s ever called and our whole conversation was “happy”. No matter how hard I try to make her see the silver lining or the glass as half full, she see’s it as half empty. One of the girls in our crew got engaged last year. We were all so happy for them, their relationship had weathered the storm and we were all ecstatic they made it through. In the middle of our friend telling us the details of how he proposed the negative one jumps in and states “well he just got a real job, he can barely take care of you now, how are you going to afford a wedding?” Can you say “buzz kill”? But how could she have known this about the guy without the fiancé telling her? The fiancé gave her the grenade so she just pulled the pin.
Please don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with talking to your girls, sharing fun times, and letting them in on your happiness. But at the same time, have boundaries. There are some things that should just between you and your significant other.
To My Girls: Ya’ll know me…I’m just not the type of person to put my personal life on blast. I know those of you that are married understand. The less you tell, the more you give people the opportunity to form their own opinion. We’ve all experienced how venting a little too much can turn the whole crew against someone without giving them a fair chance. I’m the baby of the crew but I’m a big girl…I got this…TRUST ME!
To Everyone Else: You don’t know anything…You can read all my Tweets and analyze all my Facebook statuses and still not have a clue what’s going on. If you see us together, you see us. It doesn’t necessarily mean we’re together…or does it? LOL! Just because I post a love song on my status doesn’t mean it’s about him, it could just be the song that I was listening to at the moment and the lyrics stuck out to me. Sheessh, get a life. You think you know but you have no idea! And another thing, don’t make small talk with me just so you can ask if we’re together. You will definitely get the *side eye* and the *are you effin serious face*
With that being said…I’m at a place of pure and utter happiness! I made up my mind coming into this New Year that I was going to have a great year, and so far I’ve been doing just that. God is so AMAZING and He has my life in his hands. My prayer for 2010 is that I’m in God’s will. My 2009 happened like it did so that my 2010 can happen like it should. All the hurt, pain, loss and disappointment prepared me for such a time as this. So if you feel the need to ask me a question, ask about the studio that I’m working on opening, the dance camps I’m trying to set up in the community, the life’s I plan on changing, the book I’ve already started writing, the stages I plan on dancing on…ask about something other than who I’m dating…because at the end of the day…how does that affect you? Let me make this easy for you…truth be told…you never had a chance anyway!
I kept saying I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’m sick and tired of the questions, messages, and tweets. So this is your answer… “IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS”
PS: I know many will say, I told by writing this blog…ha that’s where you’re wrong. I just thought I give you something else to talk about! *Insert EVIL LAUGH *
4 thoughts on “Time Will Tell….’Cause I’m Not!”
Let me find out you think you’re Beyonce or somebody LMAO! Nah I can’t say that I blame you. I’ve been with my husband for 3 years and you know the story behind that. Stay this way. Those of us who matter, understand and the those who don’t, you know what we tell em. “Hoe sit down” All jokes aside, when we met you were about 17-18 dancing on the tables in the union. OMG still funny, the things we do when dared. ROFL All jokes aside, I’ve watched you grow over the years and I’m proud that you’ve reached this level of maturity. Love you lil sis and I have your back.
I am on this same level right now; I’m learning my own boundaries of what to tell and what not to tell so this is RIGHT on point for me right now as well. I love the way you write, it gives me chills most every time. I have always been the one that tells everybody EVERYthing and then, like you say in your first paragraph, I’m back friends with someone the next week or still talking to some janky guy…
Most Definitely!!! You’ll be just fine! You already have one of the main principles down to having a successful relationship.
Oh and yes, you did give me the *side eye* and the *are you effin serious face*….but it’s all good. LOL
So when do you plan on opening your dance studio, it’s so needed in our community.
I really almost just spit all of my soda at this computer screen reading your comment. I was NOT talking about you, you talk to me on a regular basis, I was talking about those other people who barely have two words for me any other time but now they’re smiling in my face asking about school and dance just so they can squeeze his name in there. I don’t recall giving you the side eye or the face…I just remember laughing and texting him, hoping you couldn’t see. I’m looking for a location now and trying to get everything set up so that it could be non profit and the girls could get scholarships to come. Hopefully everything will be ready by the summer time