Mixed Messages


During lunch today I had a conversation with a guy that I consider a good friend. He was going on and on about how he feels as though women send mixed messages. We’ve been friends for YEARS, so I asked him if he ever thought I wanted more than friendship. I didn’t think for a moment that his answer would have been anything other than “No!” However, he immediately said “Yes!” He then recounted a time in which he was asked to speak at his church and I called him the day of to wish him well. He then proceeded to say that men take that as women showing interest in them and possibly wanting more. He went on to say that over the years, he’s realized that it’s just my personality, but it took him a while to get to that point. I know I asked him “are you serious?” ten times before I realized he was dead serious. At that moment I could have had a panic attack. It never dawned on me, that being thoughtful could be considered as wanting more. After we got off the phone, I spent the next 30 minutes reading through text messages wondering if any of my other guy friends felt like I’d been sending them mixed messages. I guess my problem is I don’t view my male friends and female friends differently. If I would do it for one of my girls, why wouldn’t I do it for one of my guys? I don’t have all the resources to bless my friends the way I would like, so I find other ways to show my appreciation; i.e.…being there. I’m naturally a very giving and thoughtful person. I’ve always placed myself towards the bottom of my priority list. (I’m slowly learning how to move myself to the top) If I know something is important to you, it automatically becomes important to me. Call it silly. Call it a character flaw. Call it being naïve. Heck, call it anything but me trying to get with you. I’ve never been the type of women to pursue a man. I’ve been called a modern day feminist a few times, but when it comes to relationships, I’m 100% old fashioned. I want to be pursed and courted. Not doing the pursing and courting. Bottom Line!


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