I stayed at my mom’s house last night just so I could see her prior to going to work this morning. I tossed and turned all night as my mind replayed the events of last year on this very day. July 30, 2014, her birthday. A day I thought would be normal. I would swing by after work, we’d go to dinner to celebrate as we always did and that would be it. However, I didn’t get to see her. I drove to her house, after work, just as I’d planned, but she wasn’t there. She reached out to me and my sister to explain her plans had changed, so dinner was out, but we would see her that night. Hours passed. I received call after from people trying to reach her. In a panic, I called her cell phone, she answered, I exhaled as she stated she was on her way the house. I must have fallen asleep as I waited because before I knew it, it was 1:30am. I jumped up, ran to her room deciding that I would wake her up. She wasn’t there. I looked in my sisters room, the bathrooms and the guest bedroom…she wasn’t there. I went and looked outside, her car wasn’t there. I immediately started crying as I called her cell only to be greeted by her voicemail.

I freaked all the way out! I went and grabbed my sister’s cell phone to see if she had tried to call her. No missed calls. Maybe she got into a car accident, maybe she got stopped by the police and got arrested (we all know her mouth is reckless) oh no…Maybe she’s dead I thought as I started to Google numbers to local hospitals. I called hospital after hospital, asking if they had a patient by her name or if they had any Jane Does matching her description. Receptionist after receptionist apologized as they told me no. With each “no”, I grew more and more anxious. Finally, I decided to call the local police. I spoke with a very nice officer and explained to him what was going on. “I know I have to wait 24 hours to file a police report, but I’m just checking”, the officer cut me off “actually you don’t have to wait, you can file one now, if this is truly out of her character.” I paused for a minute, before telling him that I would call a few of my aunts before making that decision. It was now 6 am. I woke up all of my aunts, crying, asking if they’d seen her. As each of them answered “no”, my heart sank further.

It was now 7am, I was supposed to be at work, but how could I even think about going to work? I’d literally been up ALL night. Crying and praying. Calling and praying. Texting and praying. I knew I looked a mess, but I honestly didn’t care. I felt hopeless and powerless most of the night, but I knew I couldn’t continue to sit around and wait. I had to find her. I was going to find my momma. I got in my car and just started driving. I didn’t know where I was going, or what I was going to find, but I knew I would find my momma. Through the tears and in between prayers, God spoke to me and I found her. I didn’t like the shape I found her in, but I found her. I didn’t like seeing her at such a low point, but I was happy I had another chance to see her. I hated that we didn’t get to spend her birthday together, but I was thankful that I would have another birthday to spend with her. So this year, I jumped straight up, ran in her room, this time she was there. I cried as I stood there watching her sleep. Thank God she made it another year. Thank God I found her!

Happy Birthday Ma!

I love you!