2015 went nothing, and I mean NOTHING like I imagined. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely had some amazingly fun moments, but overall, 2015 was a year of lessons. Often painful, confusing and seemingly unfair lessons. Lessons I was not even remotely prepared for. I couldn’t cheat, phone a friend or use a lifeline. I had to pass the test, sometimes even requiring the torture of a retest. I had to trust myself, but more importantly, trust God more than ever before.
I had to trust that HE had given me every thing I needed to not only pass but ace the test. One of the more difficult test was a test of faith. I had to really step out on the faith I’d only previously written about. I didn’t have the luxury of taking the stairs, I had to literally jump out of the window to escape the flames. I can laugh about it now, but the first time I was scheduled for the window jump, I came up with an excuse to avoid it. This time, my excuses had been removed; my faith renewed, I closed my eyes and jumped. Instead of the fear of falling I immediately felt an unimaginable sense of peace. I knew I passed!
It’s crazy because at the beginning of the year I shared a post about a book I’d recently read called “Hustle and Faith”. Just when I felt like my faith was on the right track I had to step up my hustle. I had to learn to hear “No” but continue to work like I heard “Yes”. I can’t count the number of times I gave myself a pep talk that either started or ended with “What God has for me, is for me!” It’s one thing when you feel cheated, it’s a totally different type of disappointment when others feel you were cheated. I’d mastered encouraging myself, but having to encourage others who believed in me and didn’t understand the “no” was challenging. I found myself wanting to slip into a “whoa it’s me” pity party, shut down and not do anything more than what was required. Instead I learned to use the disappointment as motivation to push through. With every “no” I upped my grind. I passed the test.
I think the most valuable lesson of 2015 was learning to believe in me. I now believe that I can stand on my own. I now believe that I’m fully capable of living the life I’d only previously prayed for. I now believe that I can face my giants and not even break a sweat. I now believe I’m capable of passing any test. I’m not one to gamble but if it’s one thing I’m willing to bet on…it’s myself. 2015 forced me to become the woman I claimed I was. I grew in every aspect. The growing pains were hell, but well worth it! I can finally say I am now the Rachelle I always wanted to be. Unapologeticly me! 2016 it’s time to rock out!!!
Rachelle Danielle 😘😘