Hmmm well apparently I expect too much from people. I guess my dad was right when he said, you can’t expect people to treat you like you would treat them or do for you what you would do for them. That statement became even more apparent this past weekend. IDK Maybe it’s just me, but please tell me what you think
I was on my way to visit my dad in Baltimore Maryland, when the car in front of me clipped the car in front of it causing both cars to spin and one car to hit the guard rail just before stopping millimeters in front of my car. Like seriously, my car came to a stop just in time. I floored the breaks and my dog went flying into the dash board. The car behind me had to almost run off the road to stop from hitting me in the rear. Naturally, this whole event freaked me out. My first thought was “Thank You Lord”. My second was “OMG I hope everyone is okay.” I was literally frozen for like 2 minutes. I couldn’t move; I was paralyzed just looking at all the commotion going on in front of me in. Once I finally snapped back I immediately starting crying. I mean I’ve never seen anything like that in my life, and for me to have almost been a part of it was/is traumatizing. I couldn’t pull over without holding up traffic even more, so my only other option was to try to compose myself and keep it moving. I was like an hour from my dads so calling him to come get me would have been pointless. I called my mom and my dad just for them to calm me down, but neither one of them answered, which freaked me out even more. I’ve never had a panic attack, but if they are anything like what I was experiencing, I feel for anyone who has them. I mean I was hyperventilating and my chest tightened. I’ve dealt with asthma most of my life, and it kinda felt like an attack was coming on. I haven’t had an attack in years so just the thought of it scared me even more. So once I couldn’t reach either of my parents I called the next closest person. I mean I knew he was at work, but I just needed to hear a calm voice. He answers and hears me crying, so of course he asked what was wrong. Once I told him what had happened he said something along the lines of well at least they didn’t hit you. I mean that’s true and all but sometimes the effects of something almost happening is just as bad as it actually happening. So anyways, I knew he was at work so I didn’t want to hold him up any longer so after about 5 minutes we got off the phone. Initially I was ok, but then I saw someone else almost get into an accident and it freaked me out all over again, so I called my best friend. My mom beeps in when I was talking to him and she talks to me for a good 30 minutes or so. After talking to my mom (and her praying all loud in my ear lol) I felt pretty much okay to drive on. So by the time I get to my dads my best friend was calling to make sure I’m okay. My ex saw my update on twitter and sent me an email asking if I was ok. A few other people saw my status on twitter and they sent me text messages making sure I was ok. Everyone I expected to hear from…I heard from….well, make that almost everyone.
When I finally hear from the one person I was expecting to hear from first (a day and a half later) I mention something to him about him not calling back to make sure I was ok or even to make sure I’d arrived to Maryland safely (Mind you it’s a 4.5 hour drive). He had the audacity to say “but you could have called and said you made it” then he said “you didn’t ask me to call to see if you made it”. I’m reading these text messages like he can’t be serious…He also said something about if someone called him crying about something that didn’t happened…IDK what he said after that, because I tossed the phone in the seat ignored him. Since when do I have ask someone who claims they care about me to check on me. I’m feeling like everyone else that knew I was on the road alone called and checked on me. I mean really??? Forget a relationship; I consider that just being a good friend. Granted I didn’t actually get into an accident, but if someone I care about, or even on a broader scale, if one of my friends called me crying…regardless of what they were crying about…I’m going to call them back to make sure they’re okay. Especially when they’ve NEVER called me crying before. This example is really drastic but if a woman almost gets raped, but it doesn’t really happen she could still be emotionally scarred from it. No the scars may not be as deep as they could have been but never the less the scars are still there. Again, very drastic example…I know…but I’m just saying sometimes almost can be bad too…It was at that moment that I realized what they said about me could possibly be true…Maybe I really do have Unrealistic Expectations of people. But wait…is it really an unrealistic expectation to expect someone to call and check on you…after they heard you crying…whether they thought the reason was valid or not?
9 thoughts on “Unrealistic Expectation”
Wow the way you word thing is beautiful they say good writers can make everything they say believable even when it isn’t, all it takes us emotions… They also say when u seek a true opinion don’t use those closest to you because asking them to be impartial is like asking ur mom if ur ugly… Actually I say that. But anywho it is true however that everyone is different I sent u a text telling you that I asked alot of people just like yams most said ishiuld have called but not all. I’m sorry I’m not accustomed to that in my family it’s “alright be safe call me when you get there” I apologize for not seeming concerned but if u know me u know that I am always concerned about you… The crazy thing is that I apologiZed and said my sorries but yet u still felt the need to take it to this level… And I’m not perfect but damn I try my best to evolve and be what it is u have asked me to be…. To do some of the things u have asked me too… But hey Mayer that’s not enough…. Ne’er meant to hurt u or upset u…. Love u tok much for that… Loves something different guarunteed it can kill a man… Or put him at his lowest of lows and highest of highs… So in this situation as I said I should have alled because that is what ur accustomed to… I didn’t know this… And let’s not forget it took a while for me to finally hit u up because I was with my mother in the emegency room them sitting in the back with her for over 16 hours… I’m not the best man in the world but I’m not the worst… One thing i do, do is try… To be te best man I an for you…..
Check the time line….this was published at about 845ish, I didn’t get the first text message from you until 9:30ish (when I asked why did you send the same message 8 times). I posted this blog and made it public so that people outside of the people I speak with on a daily basis could give me their opinion. I haven’t only asked people I’m close with, but of course you see it your way. Also in regards to your mother being in the hospital, you didn’t say anything about that until I said something about you not calling to check on me. But anyhoo, sorry your mother had to go to the hospital and glad she’s doing better.
You deserve better. Any man that cares about a woman would call, especially after she calls crying. That’s just common respect. If you were my girl I would have called
Damn shorty dat nigga don’t give a damn about you.
that dude sounds like my ex; selfish and all about self; i bet he dont get why you pissed; smh
First of all, I am really glad you’re okay; second, put me on your list of people to call – I’m always around Chelle and would love to talk in any time of need, remember that.
Second, I love the way you write and I can understand exactly where you’re coming from. And to answer your question, no, it’s not unrealistic to expect for someone to call that supposedly cares about you to make sure you’re okay. You DESERVE that, and if he’s not willing to take that extra step, then step on homie.
I know I’m not up on twitter and you made me feel bad cuz I didn’t call you but I was praying for you to get there safely. You can always call me if you need to. If I don’t answer the phone and it’s important, leave a message. How’s my nephew?? That dude….let him walk….he got me making the stank face and I don’t even know him. When a male friend cares….they’ll check on you when they know you’re on the road (especially when you’re alone). If he doesn’t get it, he has some more growing/maturing to do.
Listen: I understand about you feeling like he should have called, especially after you called crying. Don’t take it as him not caring; chop it up as him not knowing how to show you he cares. I read the previous comments and I too was raised in a family that said “call me when you get there” however I am a man which makes things slightly different. Despite how I was raised it is my opinion that once you called crying the whole dynamics should have changed, especially if he could hear you crying. Now, this doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, or didn’t care, maybe it slipped his mind. Afterall he did say that his mother was in the ER. Some men have to be shown how to love and care. He could very well be one of those. So to answer the question as to if you have unrealistic expectations, No. There are men out here who know how to show how to show they care, the way in which you expect them to. But there are also men who are willing to be shown how and what you need. It’s up to you if you’re into upgrading or you want him ready made.
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A definite great read…:)