Pushing 30

Guess it’s time to update this thing…Seeing as though I just celebrated my 28th birthday a few days ago; consider this my annual birthday blog 🙂 (It’s a little long)

On the day before my birthday, I did something that I hadn’t done since May 20, 2012. I danced at church. When I was initially asked to do this, I was very hesitant. I’d been asked to dance before and I turned it down. Not because I no longer enjoyed dancing at church, but it had gotten to the point where I was feeling used and unappreciated. I felt like I was only good enough when they needed me to dance and when I wasn’t dancing or over the dance ministry it was forget her. Was I wrong, probably. Is it how I truly felt, absolutely. Feelings and flesh aside, I know I’ve been blessed with a gift, and I could hear my grandmother telling me not to sit on my gift; so I decided to dance. It was my way of telling God thank for you allowing me to see another year. It’s crazy because My mom randomly asked me the week prior if I was dancing and I brushed her off and told her no. She seemed disappointed, but she already knew how I felt about the situation so she didn’t press the issue. Needless to say, the look on her face when I walked out was priceless. I’m still not sure how I feel about everything, but I’m happy I made the decision to dance. It was the best way possible to kick off my birthday festivities.

Everyone that knows me knows I’m a crybaby; and birthday’s and early mornings make me extra emotional. (Judge Not) This year was no different. I was on a high after leaving the women’s conference, trying to force myself to “turn down” and get in bed when my phone vibrated. It was 12am on the dot and it was a birthday message from an old friend, which set off the waterworks. It was a definitely a pleasant surprise. I knew I would hear from him, but I didn’t expect him to be the first person I heard from as we’ve had our share of differences over the years. As the hours past and the calls, texts, tweets, Facebook messages, IG posts and emails continued to pour in, I found myself driving fighting back the tears. Then I got the call I’d been waiting for. It was my mom on the line saying “Amber had the baby” I was so excited as not only was this a new life, but we shared a birthday and my cousin promised me she would give the baby my middle name. I was on cloud nine.

Later that day, I posted a picture holding the baby with a caption saying “Thank God for the greatest birthday gift ever Londyn Danielle.” and someone said…OMG is that your baby. I didn’t feel the need to respond, as everyone that knows me knows how I feel about babies. Maybe I should have just responded because people started commenting on the picture saying “congratulations” “hope you and the baby are well.” “I didn’t even know you were pregnant.” PAUSE and have several, this one here did not have a baby. I laughed it off and told them whose baby she was. I thought that would be the end of it, then it happened again… someone said “OMG you’re almost 30, you’re late, when are you going to have a baby.” Not when are you going to get married. Or when are you going to go to grad school. But when are you going to have a baby. I’m sorry; I must have missed that memo. No one told me I was supposed to have a baby by a certain age. Call me bougie, stuck up, old fashioned, goody two shoes, church girl, etc., but I have this thing about NOT being just a baby momma. I have a few more things I would like to accomplish before the thought of having children even crosses my mind and oh yeah, this part is major…I would like for my last name to be different from my parents. In other words, married!!!!!!!

This past weekend was also my 10th year high school reunion. I had been going back and forth as to whether or not I was going to attend. I only attended this high school 11th and 12th grade, my middle school years and first two years of high school were spent in a different town. So I was apprehensive because I didn’t really grow up with these people, we kind of just graduated together. I missed my first high schools reunion and I regretted it, so I moved something’s around and made it to the reunion. Okay I’m lying…I didn’t want to go because I hadn’t seen a certain someone in quite some time and I wasn’t sure if he was going to be there or how I was going to feel seeing him…there I said it. Anyhoo, I sucked it up, got cute and went. And I’m honestly happy I went. Yes, he was there, but it wasn’t at all awkward. I was so busy laughing and having a great time catching up with everyone that it didn’t matter who was there. He and I chatted for a few and went on with the evening. I thought we both did well, all things considered. Well, that was until a few people made a comment about the chemistry between us. There’s so much I could say however, that’s a completely different story for a completely different blog. So for now I’m going to just SMH and LOL! Anyhoo, back to the reunion…The last time I saw most of those people we were 17 and 18 year old babies heading off to college. Now we stood before each other as women and men, college graduates, mothers, fathers, husband, wives, doctors, teachers and community advocates. We stood before each other as real grown-ups. So much has happened in 10 years.

All in all I had a wonderful birthday and a wonderful birthday weekend. I’ve been blessed with some amazing friends and family. I don’t have everything I want, but I have more than I thought I would have. I don’t know what year 28 has to hold, but I’m looking forward to it. I have so much more that I want to accomplish, so many more people I would love to meet and so much more I would love to do. OMG I’m officially pushing 30.

~RachelleDanielle