I woke up extra emotional today. I literally woke up, said my prayers and exploded into tears. Everyone that knows me knows, birthdays (Happy Birthday Daddy) and early mornings make me hella emotional; add in the fact that this year is almost most over and boom bring on the water works. For the last 3 years I’ve done a yearly recap. At times, I’m too open when I write, and I feel like something’s should be left private so I decided not to post them to my public blog. However, let’s see if I can be transparent without revealing too much (oxymoron) and see if this one can make the cut…
I entered 2013 with the highest expectations. My birthday is 9/13, so 13 has always been my favorite number. I remember being in Bible Study one night and the preacher was talking about numbers, their meanings and what your favorite number says about you. We had to go around and say our favorite number. When my turn came, I stood up and said my favorite number was 13. The preacher then made some kind of comment about how 13 is a rebellious number, and how I may have a tendency to be rebellious. I think I was about 16 or 17 when this happened and was the epitome of the “cookie cutter” Christian; so I felt some type of way after basically been told that I was a rebel. I felt like, “who are you to tell me I’m rebellious or have rebellious tendencies just because I happen to like a number.” Well, I guess they were right, because this year I found myself rebelling and rebelling quite often.
I’ve always been considered the “good girl”. I can’t count the number of times parents have come up to me at church or after a community event just to say “thank you for being a good role model.” Or “I hope my daughter follows in your footsteps.” Don’t get me wrong, it’s an honor, but it also made me feel like I had to be perfect. Their comments had me so afraid to make a mistake, not even just make a mistake, but so afraid to live my life, that I stopped living for myself and started living for those around me. I found myself going out of my way to maintain this image that had been thrust upon me, so much so, that I lost sight of who I was. I felt like a Stepford Wife, just going through the motions, afraid to deviate from the plan that those around me had laid out. Then around March, something clicked and I just stopped caring. For the first time, since I can remember I started to do what I wanted to do. I literally had/have an “I just don’t give a ****” attitude. And I LOVE it!
I finally started living for Rachelle. No longer did I do things simply to please others, but now I was doing things to please myself. I rebelled against the “good girl” image. I rebelled against the people that tried to force me to stay in their claustrophobic boxes and I rebelled against the glass ceiling I’d trapped myself under. So without going into detail; I’ve done something’s that I’m not necessarily proud of, but I certainly don’t regret. Did something’s that I said I would never do, and have relished in every minute of it; and will most likely do again. Opened some doors that perhaps shouldn’t have been opened, but enjoyed walking thru them. Crossed some lines that shouldn’t have been crossed, but wouldn’t backtrack if you paid me. To state it plainly… I lived!!! Am I bragging about being a “rebel”…Of course not. But 2013 taught me that just because you’re not proud of something, doesn’t mean you can’t learn from it or be thankful for the experiences it taught you. Being a rebel has allowed me to live life outside the walls of the church and experience God in ways I didn’t think were possible. Being a rebel has allowed me to meet people that have awakened my fervor for life and caused me to go after things I no longer thought were achievable. Being a rebel has allowed me to have a front row seat to greatness. Being a rebel has caused me to truly step out on faith and trust God like never before. Being a rebel has forced me to not just talk about it, but actually be about it. Being a rebel has challenged me to grow. Being a rebel has allowed me to experience life on an utterly uncommon level; and for that I’m sincerely thankful. Sheesh, okay, maybe I am bragging a little.
Let’s have a toast to the rebels!
RachelleDanielle
Rachelle Danielle 
Chelle my bell say it ain’t so. Not my sweet Chelle. You can’t be out here rebelling. I told you that we were getting married. I was going to propose on new years eve. LOL
You and I both know you aren’t getting married anytime soon. Mr. I am Prince Akeem and I’ve come to sow my royal oats. I told you I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever LOL.
It started when we were younger you were mine MY BOOOO. Chelle we are getting married and that’s that. Now do you think your boy will let me get that ring aint no need to let it go to waste.
SMH I can’t with you fool. You officially have not an ounce of sense. And for the record you know that was a low blow…Besides, I thought that was you boy, your frat, team Nupe. (I laughed though) LOL
OMG Teddy you are still a dummy. For the record when I saw that Tiffany’s box I thought her ass was going to say yes yes yes and they were going to make out on the floor. She fooled us all.
Fk yeah I thought she was a gonner.
Both of you are stupid LOL… I’m about to stop approving your comments. Do some work!!!!
We all know that you are far from a rebel. Miss goody two shoes hasn’t done anything not Bibically correct. You don’t have any regrets because your prissy ass hasn’t done anything. Unless you count playing your boy few years ago in front of all his boys, I still say you were wrong for that one. I would have milked it for all it was worth. Just another example of why you are NOT a rebel. You’re cute though, so you get a pass.
James, you my friend are a hater. LOL But I’m so glad you think so highly of me 🙂
Hi5, now that’s what I’m talking about. We’ve been telling you for years to live and there’s more to life than dance and church glad to see you’re finally doing it. Now if only we can get your private ass to open up and share the details we’ll be on to something. What’s the purpose of turning up if you’re not going to share with your girls. LOL Do you boo. Speaking of do you, hopefully you’re doing you. hahaha love you doll. Time for a ladies outing.
I knew you would approve. You’re happy as long as you’re not the only one wilding out. As far as opening up, I did open up, I made this blog public LOL. (Hopefully you’re doing you) And I can’t believe you said that…SMH only you. I’m sure there was a ratchett dance move that went along with that line. Yes, a ladies outing is a must. Ya’ll chicks just let me know when and I’ll make sure to clear my schedule. Love you back doll. (Why are we communicating via my blog…call me heffa)
PS….
That sneaky ass face in the picture. Let me find out the baby of the group is growing up. *Gasp* and *Clutches my pearls*
Me…Sneakly…NEVER Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha….Told ya I’m grown 🙂
Danielle,
I love that you’re living your life for you. But don’t let this quest to be a rebel cause you to lose site of the woman you are destined to be. I’ve always admired you and I too want my daughter to follow in ur footsteps. Whether you like it or not you are a role model and even when you rebel eyes are watching. So although I understand what you’re saying keep in mind that to whom much is given much is required. Love you baby girl.
Hey Robbie!!! Although i’ve “rebelled” I still know the standards I have to uphold. I still have limits and boundaries. I would never intentionally do anything to compromise myself or those around me. However I am still going to live my life. I’ve gotten a taste of life outside the box and it’s been great. God continues to bless and my life has only gotten better. Love you my dude but i’m not getting back in the box unless Jesus himself picks me up and puts me there.
I love it! Do you cause if you don’t who will? Love you for being you!
Awww thanks Sonya, that means so much coming from you. Love you back!!!!
Hey there PYT/2013 Rebel!!!
I knew you had it in you!!!
2013 isn’t over you know… How “BAD” can you be!!! LOL
Show us some more!!!
By the way, that is one good looking rebel in that picture!!!
My new “Billy Jean”!!!
LOL I can’t believe everyone is pro rebel. For the record…I think I like PYT better than Billy Jean.
omg you are amazing and the best rebel I have ever met
Great Post twin!! Just remember we are all human and nobody on earth is perfect so never try and put that much pressure on ya self or eventually you will crack. I would love for my daughter to be just like you also 😉 but its mine and her mom job to be her role model not any one else!! Live your life for you and you only!!
Thanks Reg…This is why we’re twins. Love you big bro! #VigroPower 🙂